How to solve these 3 Big let downs & not get pissed off

 

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I’m feeling disappointed. A bit let down. Pissed off to a degree, in fact.

You’re not getting it. “You” as in all the collective You’s out there. Not You specifically, as I’m confident that you do get it.

I don’t gripe much however there comes a time for a shake up. I’ve even provided Solutions so it’s not 100% gripe.

Here’s 3  Big let downs that I come across (too) regularly. The reason that I am spilling these beans is that I want you to avoid these traps.

I want you to be as free of “anchors” as much as you can. Stuff that holds you back, weighs you down, leads you astray only succeeds in stunting your personal growth ….. and you don’t want that, I’m sure.

Responsibility  or the lack of it (the personal kind), has been a bugbear of mine for such a long time. Excuses abound. People can’t get their act together (or don’t want to),  so they abandon their personal responsibility and shift blame to either someone else or to some other external factor(s). For this post, I’m talking mainly in the areas of personal self … health/fitness and growth/development.

I’m not going into specific examples as there are simply too many to list them all. However “it’s not my fault”, ”everybody else does it”, “that’s Life, what can I do about it” … are all up there with the best. It’s a crying shame and it’s an epidemic that I believe is getting worse.

Solution … You are solely responsible for your personal choices and actions.  That’s right,You. You will make mistakes, possibly regularly, just like me. So what?You might not like your life situation. Cop it on the chin and find a way to move on & up. Rarely does everything fall into place from day 1 on this planet. You will find your rightful path & destination if you are prepared to be true to yourself.

Granted, there may be external factors (including other people) who impact on your choices/actions. (there is for most of us). It is still your responsibility though. There’s rarely a level playing field in life, however there is always opportunity for those who push aside excuses. Own up, take responsibility and your life will grow.

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Experts  are everywhere. Many are, indeed experts … just as many are not. When I see the word “expert” attached in the Personal Development/Social Media environment, I cringe … it’s on a similar scale to “Best Selling Author” which is another moniker attached to many with great fervour. (and without much scrutiny it appears to me).

This may sound like sour grapes because I’m not an expert and certainly not a Best Selling Author. However there are many claiming such who are not either. It just annoys me a little that the ‘expert’ tag is abused to the detriment of the unaware or the innocent.

Solution … be vigilant when dealing with (claimed) “experts”. What is their expertise? Is it knowledge or ‘marketing skill’ masquerading as knowledge? When you are seeking help of any kind, make sure that you are dealing with someone who is authentic and can back up “the talk” and is actually aligned to what your needs are. For sure, seek help whenever you need it.  There are many valuable experts. Do your homework first before jumping in.

Lack of action  “You said that you were going to do that”…  So why didn’t you? Words are fine but without any follow through then they are only words. I’d Love a dollar for every time I was told that something would be done … and it wasn’t. More often than not, there was no intent to do it in the first place … so what’s with the charades? And I’m not just talking about tasks. I’m talking about real life choices and actions.

Solution … if you won’t, don’t or are not interested in doing something … then don’t say that you will. Own up, let it go and move to something that you will do. Otherwise you are only wasting your time and the time of others (who were depending on you doing it). It also comes back to personal responsibility. If there is something holding you back from taking that action, making that change … then own up to it. Clarify your intent. Revisit your action. Try again. Seek help   if necessary.

Or, let it Go.

Do these resonate with You? Feel free to share if you care and your comment will be appreciated as always.

Be good to yourself

David

Mid Life Coach. Listener. 

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Leave a Comment

  • Fran Sorin July 19, 2013, 10:23 am

    David –
    I identified with this post. Playing victim and being on the receiving end of ‘having something done to you’ rather than being in charge of your destiny is a sure formula for disaster.

    I’m glad you touched on the subject of ‘expert’. The online world – I think- is the reason that everyone now feels free to call themselves an expert. The top marketers and inspirers tell their readers that even if they are only a few steps ahead of their readers, they are an expert.

    I’m from the Malcolm Gladwell school of thought that until you clock in 10,000 hours you’re not even close to being able to feel like an expert. And individuals who are excellent at what they do – for the most part- are curious about their passion- period-

    One last thing -even with all of the degrees from Ivy League Schools- caveat emptor (sp?) when hiring a lawyer, psychiatrist, etc. It is your job to do your due diligence before hiring them!

    Thanks for a compelling post. Have a great weekend. Fran

    Reply
    • David Stevens July 19, 2013, 11:41 pm

      Hi Fran,
      I appreciate your feedback on this … glad it hit the spot. You and I both know that scratching the surface doesn’t work … you need to dig deeper.
      Be good to yourself

      Reply
  • Elle July 19, 2013, 3:09 pm

    I’m especially fond of your ‘so what’ David. I was listening to someone the other day who used ‘not so bad’ for all events, whether he deemed them good or not. Liked that too. It all keeps us from getting caught up in stuff.

    Nicely done. 🙂

    Reply
  • Mantha July 19, 2013, 3:51 pm

    Wow David! Fabulous post. I love the responsibility piece. I know personally that when I stopped being a victim in my own life, my life changed in more ways than I can tell you. It took me a long time and a lot of reading to figure out how to really take responsibility and stop claiming that it wasn’t my fault. Anyway, thanks for once again sharing such a great post,

    Mantha:)

    Reply
    • David Stevens July 19, 2013, 10:45 pm

      Hi Mantha,
      Thank You! Yes, Personal responsibility is such a big issue. When you take it you receive so much more
      Be good to yourself

      Reply
  • Cathy Taughinbaugh July 22, 2013, 6:19 pm

    Hi David,

    Those are three areas that can definitely hold us back. Taking responsibility as well as giving back the responsibility for one’s life choices can allow us to grow and become what we are meant to be. Thanks as always for your insights.

    Reply
    • David Stevens July 22, 2013, 11:02 pm

      And thankyou Cathy for your generous support and contributions.
      Be good to yourself

      Reply
  • cab computer July 25, 2013, 8:18 am

    Thanks for your sharing,I appreciate this.keep up the good work.

    Reply