I know that You have strength and that You have purpose. I also know that you occasionally need extra help with solutions, so that you can push aside problems & keep moving forward ….. that’s a fact of life.
You are not alone with this. Your greatest strength is the ability to know when you need help … and then to ask for it.
That being said, are you playing to your strength?
If not, You may be using “false resiliency” to get yourself through. It’s difficult asking for help, I know. Being stubborn is one thing, hiding your problem through toughing it out however, is something different altogether.
False resiliency can be detrimental to you. Toughing it out is fine however without a “way out” or Solution then you will be toughing it for a hell of a long time ….. do you really want this?
“False resiliency” can be part of your makeup for two standout reasons. You don’t want to see the problem. You can’t see the problem though you know something is wrong.
When you don’t want to see the problem (ignore, it may go away), then you become a large part of the problem.
When you can’t see the problem (unaware, frustrated, stressed) then the problem can be solved if you ask for help … before it’s too late.
Now, the Solution seeker will look at each ‘problem” from different angles to determine a way out. Some problems are easily solved this way when you are aware that there is a problem in the first place. Awareness is such a big key here.
Many problems however, take time to fully reveal themselves. A ready made fix at the first look may just be a part of the solution but not the whole solution. The active Solution seeker will play to his/her strength and seek help.
My personal experience: I have spoken with many coaching clients who have come to me for a solution. I don’t provide ‘quick fixes’. More often than not, the “problem” or the root of the problem is not as it first seems.
Drilling down into the issue/s can shed fresh light. I like to use easy conversation with my clients which allows the fleshing out of issues that the client has not been aware of before. This may happen in the first session then again it may be 3 or 4 sessions before the full picture starts to reveal.
Meanwhile, back to the Problem gatherer. Ignoring this problem hoping it will go away has limited success appeal. In fact it isn’t successful, because the problem will come back. The attitude of ignoring will play out again and again.
There will become a mountain of “problems” gathered and placed on the pile of discontent. The negative attitude toward Life’s problems (which are your problems, in fact) then translates into further excuses for inaction and the exclamation that “Life is sucking badly”.
Stop the bleeding and ask for help!
Asking for help IS solution seeking .
So, do You want to be an active Solution seeker or a Problem gatherer? The photo tells the story ….. your move.
* Please see updated version of this post, published 24 January 2015
Be good to yourself
Mid Life Coach. Listener. Solution Finder.
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